Have you ever thought that compassion sounds a bit weak and fluffy?  A bit impractical, idealistic or something that you give to other people.

In this blog post, you will explore the meaning of compassion and, in particular, how practising it can benefit you. After all, you spend more time with yourself than with anyone else in life. Indeed, when you tally up all the time spent with others, it won't even come close to the amount of time you spend in a relationship with yourself.

But what type of relationship do you have with yourself? We're often told how to be kind, caring, and supportive with other people, but when do we get taught how to be in a healthy, caring relationship with ourselves? That's what self-compassion is all about.

So, what is compassion? While it is easy to misunderstand compassion as something fluffy, indulgent, or weak, Nelson Mandela described how our human compassion binds us not in pity or patronising ways but as human beings who've learned how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future.

Compassion is one of the wisest and most courageous motivations we can have. Professor Paul Gilbert describes compassion as “a sensitivity to the suffering of self and others with a commitment to try and relieve and prevent it.” So, compassion isn't just about being sensitive and soft; it's also about taking action to reduce distress.

Compassion often involves strength and courage. It's compassion that leads firefighters, nurses, and doctors to dedicate themselves to helping others. To be compassionate, we need two skills.

Firstly, the ability to confront and endure difficult situations rather than avoiding or dismissing them.

Secondly, we need dedication and wisdom to reduce suffering skilfully. Just intending to help isn't enough; we need to develop wise and skilful ways to do this, and these are some of the skills you can develop through this series of blog posts.

This may all sound a bit like hard work, so it's worth asking: Why do we need compassion? Researchers have found that practising compassion is linked to many positive benefits. It leads to reduced self-criticism and worry, a decrease in symptoms of depression and anxiety, and an improvement in self-worth and self-esteem. Furthermore, when we reflect, having a compassionate relationship with ourselves makes a great deal of sense. After all, life can be challenging for all of us at times.

We all experience setbacks, rejections, painful emotions, physical illnesses, and loss. Many of us blame ourselves for our difficulties in life, which only intensifies the situation. However, when we look at the three main reasons we experience distress, we can see that they have nothing to do with any personal failings.

Firstly, we possess a brain and body that were created for us, not by us. By this, I mean our brain and body evolved with emotions such as fear and anger, and behaviours like fighting, avoiding, and running away to aid our survival. However, these can also cause us significant pain.

Secondly, as we age, our lives eventually end. This is the reality of life, and for many of us, knowing this will happen can cause distress.

Finally, life experiences shape us, and they are not always in our control. These experiences shape our minds and, eventually, the people we become.

For example, had you been brought up by your next-door neighbours instead of your family, you would likely be a different person, with unique interests, lifestyles, and differing political or religious beliefs.

When we view our distress in this manner, nurturing a compassionate attitude towards ourselves makes a great deal of sense. We must understand our minds and learn to engage with them kindly.